DIARIO dal 21 al 25 settembre 2020
Salve a tutti, da circa un anno mi si impedisce di postare video su Youtube, per cui mi sono rassegnato a tenere un diario minimo di quello che mi capita durante la giornata. Il diario è necessariamente breve perchè ho difficoltà a dilungarmi a causa degli ultrasuoni, ma è abbastanza indicativo di quello che di assurdo sono costretto vivere. Assurdo perchè assolutamente criminale e razzista, reati assolutamente intollerabili in una democrazia.
quindi ecco il resoconto del diario che scrissi dal 21 al 25 settembre 2020. Sfortunatamente lo sto scrivendo in inglese per motivi di studio, fatemi sapere se siete interessati a una versione in italiano.
09/21/'20
Hi, today I had to go to the doctor after having undergone a scan of my belly, looking for a liver fault. The echo showed my liver was in great danger, being fat, augmented and with traces of a disease which could evolve into cirrhosis. I gave the results to the doctor, he read everything and then said: all on the norm. I said whether he didn't think my liver was suffering too much, but he dismissed my question saying the echo wasn't so bad, I only had to refrain from eating fat meat and fried food and especially don't drink alcohol. Then I said whether I should go to e specialist to show the scan, and he replied it was useless.
What do you think? My blood exams and the scan showed my liver is suffering, furthermore, I went to the doctor just because I felt extremely tired and hot flashes, but the doctor said everything was on the norm.
This is the way Ferlini speaks, I was wondering whether he might have withdrawn the possibility alcohol got me high the least, and at the same time, he could let the same alcohol poison my liver. I thought it wasn't possible, maybe Ferlini was lying, I wasn't sick and my liver was ok, but for some reasons, he decided to alter my blood data and even the scan so that it seemed I was highly sick. With ultrasound, you can do everything you want, really. But the doctor behaviour showed that I was right, and Ferlini's way to confirm it was to suggest the doctor to say it was all normal, while data showed the opposite. Actually, my all body is under Ferlini's control: rarely I will suffer from a disease, most of the times it is Ferlini who decides whether I have to become sick and from whichever disease. Recently, as a type of punishment for reasons I didn't understand, he provoked me an anal fissure. It was painful for some days and I had to spend money to cure it, but he was behind it all. Even this time I don't know why he decided to get me tired and hit by hot flashes, the all thing is going on for about three months, and maybe is always Ferlini who prevents me to go running, as I can't run for more than fifteen meters. I have to repeat I don't know what is in the mind of Ferlini. I think he is insane, and I don't understand how he can be so successful behaving like a psychopath punishing and tormenting me all the time seamlessly.
My report for today stops here, see you tomorrow
09/23/'20
Hi, either yesterday or today I felt depressed all morning or at least many hours in the morning. This is something new, apart from the fact that I feel depressed for half an hour when I wake up in the afternoon, but this lasts many months. Depression seems to have taken the place of tiredness, even though I feel weak and not ready to workout. This type of condition comes directly from ultrasounds, from Ferlini. A type of strict control of my entire body and psyche.
Yesterday I resumed reading a book without the relentless annoyment of the telepath. I was able to read even today. Lately, Ferlini is used to make me feel itch everywhere in my limbs, pretending it is because of mosquitos. Ferlini seems to attack me that way for something particular, but I rarely realise its meaning. Today in the morning following thought about my brother (which I don't remember now), the telepath grasped my heart and put dark emotions and nervous, such that I had to get a beer to calm down. This way I interrupted drinking alcohol-free beer and drank normal beer. Fortunately, I didn't have hot flashes nor an increase in tiredness.
This is all for today, I feel still depressed.
09/24/'20
Hi, today didn't happen anything interesting to report, apart from the fact that I drank another normal beer, not alcohol-free, and immediately had hot flashes. Therefore I have to avoid alcohol and drink alcohol-free only.
I am still depressed, but I don't know whether it is all due to ultrasounds, apparently yes, as In this moment the telepath is suggesting me. I was also attacked by an itch in my legs and arms, for about an hour. Even this time I wasn't able to understand the reason, the same way I can't understand the reason for depression.
I booked to a film festival of Korean movies and saw one of them, it wasn't bad it could have been made by an American as of the way of shooting and the plot, which, even though inspired to a real story, was treated as an American comedy. The movie went smooth and no one touched himself the way Ferlini suggests actors to doing.
My mind is full of shit coming from ultrasounds and the spread of my thoughts. You can't reason normally if your thoughts are always divulged and judged and mocked and despised. Your mind will be full of obsessive, strange and embarrassing thoughts. And even normal thoughts, knowing they are spread to everyone, become obsessive, strange and embarrassing. Moreover, ultrasounds can manipulate them and make them even stranger and more obsessive. But I am used to it, in the past, everything was much worse, even though, it isn't ever easy to let it go.
All for today, to tomorrow.
09/25/'20
Hi, today at about eleven o'clock I was interrupted, while reading a book, through pain into the right ear. Normally these type of blows last some seconds and can be more or less intense and frequent. This time it was of a medium pain and lasted at least five minutes. And after that, it didn't stop completely, so that I had to interrupt my reading and get a beer (not alcohol-free) to calm down.
In the evening, after having read some pages of a book, I watched some videos. The second one was a video from Daisy Cousen (a vlogger) whom I was many months without watching because she had touched her the way Ferlini suggests, and the telepath made me angry. But, as some time I do, I resumed to watch her, as the title of the video was interesting, thinking she should have forgotten me, or, better said, Ferlini should have said her to forget me. Instead, she didn't forget me and touched herself heavily unequivocably and for a long time. At the same time, the telepath made me angry and I had to get another beer, this time alcohol-free as I had only that left. The anger lasted for long and I had to devise something to do to calm down. I couldn't watch videos nor movies or read books. Then I decided to ride my bike up to a place where I could stroll half of an hour while listening to talk through my mp3, which fortunately I could do. But, once at home I still had my heart clasped and felt depressed and in bad temper.
There is to say that through the pain in the ear the telepath is always suggesting something, underscoring what I am listening or reading or watching, this time I wasn't able to know the reason of the torture, but he was happy all the same. And he is still happy now, as while I wrote this he began to torment me through the same pain into the right ear. Always suggesting something I didn't understand, apart from the fact he was happy to torture me.
This is all for today, see you nextly